Creating Space for Intentions.
10 Minutes of a match burning and goal setting.
I’ve never been one for ceremony or spectacle. Birthdays have always fit into that category for me. They’re a day that feels more for others than for myself. As a new father, I can confirm this is true. It’s one that you’ll never remember but everyone around you is grateful for beyond words, and it does deserve celebration. Don’t get me wrong, I always like a good party, but I also always prefer the ability to ghost at any time with no one noticing.
I turned 37 this week. Honestly, it was one of the best birthday’s I’ve had in a long time. I spent the day with my family, picked out a Christmas tree with my wife and son, then a few of my best friends came over for cake and left before 8pm. Being in your late 30’s rules - you don’t have to impress anyone or do anything you don’t want to.
Before I began the day, however, I did something I had never done before on my birthday: I set intentions for this year. As much as I don’t love ceremony, I don’t love anything with the word “intentional” in it. It’s redundant. A phrase most likely made up by someone who’s most definitely selling you something - likely a course on how to be intentional. Did you know you can’t not, not be intentional? You can not be unintentional on purpose - It’s literally not possible. So why the need to brand the type of thinking you’re doing? But here I was, intentionally being intentional. So to start my day and my year I sat down, lit a Hibi 10 minute match, and gave myself until it burned out to reflect on the past 365 days and set some goals for the next.
As we all know, time compresses as you get older. When you’re a child, days feel endless, summers are infinite, years are inconceivable. As a teen, summers get shorter and it becomes harder to do what you set out to do in a day. As an adult, no amount of time is enough. Days are barely a measurable increment at this point. Months go by without notice, and seasons become the main point of reference. For the first time in my life, the complexity of it makes me feel the need and desire to think in years.
I think the big question I have for myself was why I’ve begun feeling the need to take stock of what’s going on more and more often. It’s certainly not something I was concerned with or felt necessary five years ago. The best answer I have at the moment is that life gets wild as you get older, and I’ve found that carving out time to slow down and reflect is very important. Between our son, work, family and community obligations, everything is just moving so fast, it’s too easy to keep going without looking ahead.
Offsite’s cabins are an amazing way to spend this dedicated time. When you’re in the weeds of life, it can be extremely hard to find a clearing. The need to create and spend focused, dedicated time is often overtaken by daily tasks and distractions making it next to impossible to cut through all the noise and find quiet and clarity, let along just have ten minutes to yourself. Finding those ten minutes becomes crucial, but if you want to go deeper, you need to switch up your environment.
Our first-ever guest ran a small business, and she spent 3 nights alone at our pilot cabin going through her previous year and setting her goals for the upcoming. We’ve stayed in touch, and she’s made some significant and what are looking to be beneficial changes to life and work over the last year. Her company is no longer, and she shifted industries entirely. Like I said, pretty significant. I’m honored that Offsite got to play a role in creating the space for her to explore such difficult decisions and possible paths forward. We should all be so brave as to move on from something no longer serving us, and wise enough to realise it.
So let this be your encouragement to find those ten minutes a few times a year. Here’s a few tips that have been working for myself for thinking forward:
Keep it short, under 20 minutes. I like the Hibi 10 minute match as my timer. It feels like a ritual, plus they’re just super cool.
Start broad, thinking through general areas of improvement and work your way down to specific goals.
Write them all down with pen and paper, no apps or computers. You can transfer them later but you want to slow your thinking down a bit.
Don’t only set goals for work and self improvement but also for fun. What is life if not lived, no?
So let this be your encouragement to find those ten minutes a few times a year, and if you need more Offsite’s doors are always open! We’d love to host you for a long weekend of reflection and planning.